Prisms
by Hecate's Rath
Summary: Of mornings and nights and shared toothbrushes. Charlie will take whatever he can get. Unrequited Charlie/Tonks and implied Remus/Tonks.


Author's Note: This takes place in Deathly Hallows when Remus goes to Grimmauld Place and asks to join Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Tonks is supposedly at her mother's. The title is in reference to the last paragraph.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize isn't mine.

* * *

_Remus doesn't know_.

Charlie _savors_ that piece of information, holds it close to his heart and reminds himself that so long as Remus doesn't know, everything is fine.

And it's not like they're having sex or even anything remotely romantic. Their meetings are strictly platonic, at least from Tonks's side and Charlie _tries_, he does, to be platonic as well, but he _loves_ Tonks _like that_. Tonks is dedicated to Remus much like Charlie is dedicated to her.

It's not a secret. Not by a long shot. Charlie has never been once to mince words or lie or play coy or even try to pretend he isn't so hard in love with this beautiful girl it hurts. Tonks knows exactly how he feels and that's why she comes running whenever Remus crushes her again, because she knows Charlie will always, always be there, waiting for whatever he can get.

It's his curse, he supposes, to always have to be there for Tonks whenever Remus tears her down again. He will always welcome her back. He'll always take whatever he can get, even knowing Tonks's feelings are strictly platonic.

Which explains why he's leaning causally against the door to the bathroom at five-thirty in the morning, watching and wincing as Tonks uses his toothbrush to clean the taste of guilt and bitterness from her mouth. Charlie wants to hold her just a little bit longer—pretend that he never went off to chase dragons, instead stayed here in England and held on to this beautiful girl so that she'd never have to cry and he'd never have to let her go.

Her eyes are red and puffy and swollen and her mousy brown hair is limp and hangs around her face and she looks so _tired_ and _worn _and _beautiful_ that Charlie can't find his anger at her for using his toothbrush to rinse away his memory or for waking him up at five-thirty. He'll go to the ends of the earth for Tonks and she knows it.

Charlie runs a hand through short red hair and down a red-stubbled face and sighs.

"Tonks," he says, "I love you dearly, but it's five-thirty in the morning."

And he doesn't _really _care that it's five-thirty in the morning, because any time with Tonks is perfect, but he hasn't heard her voice since the night before when, at ten-thirty, she stood outside his door and cried.

Tonks sniffs and washes her face. "I can read a clock, Charlie. I've got to… to go home before work. To see… if he's come… back."

Charlie wants to roll his eyes and scoff and yell and scream and shake her and grab her and run far, far away all at once. Instead, he sighs. "Of course. To see if Remus has made it back yet. Right."

"Charlie…" Tonks pleads. "You know I can't… _feel_ for you like you do for me. You know I love him. Merlin, Charlie, I'm _married_ to him. I have to… have to make sure he's alright. I owe it to him, Charlie. And anyway, he thinks I'm at Mum's and if he comes back and Floos Mum and I'm not there… He… I mean, we don't do anything, but … I can't risk his trust, Charlie, I just can't."

Charlie sighs again, long and loud and heavy and crosses his arms. "Tonks… Tonks, it's not… You're not allowed to see your friends now?"

"That's not it," she snaps back. "That's not it and you _know_ it." And she's suddenly defensive of this man who breaks her down like her heart will just fix itself. "He's not a bad man, Charlie, and I'll not listen to you talk about him like that. He's _only_ trying to do what's right."

"By leaving his wife and unborn child to go gallivanting off with a group of teenagers? Yes, Tonks, that sounds like the 'right' thing to do." And as soon as the words are out of his mouth, he regrets them. And not because it's hateful against Remus, but because they cause Tonks's face to crumble anew in the mirror and _blast_ it all, he's made her cry. As if Remus didn't do that enough. As if this _war_ didn't do that enough. As if she needs something else to cry about. "No, no Tonks, that's not what I—not what I meant. Remus is…is just trying to do the right thing, I know that, he's just… Merlin, Tonks, I'm sorry."

"N-n-no, you—you're right, of course. I-I-I'm just s-s-so sc-scared is all."

"Scared?"

Tonks nods and swipes at her eyes. "Yes. Scared he won't… won't come home."

Charlie sighs and wraps Tonks up in his arms and tells her everything will be okay.

He _hates_ Remus Lupin, irrational as that is. And no, everything's _not_ going to be okay, because how the hell could things ever, _ever_ be okay? Their world is falling down around their ears and Charlie's own world is crumbling, too, because the girl he loves is so far from okay and how the fuck could Charlie ever be "okay"?

But he tells Tonks it will be anyway, because Charlie has always known what she needs. It's the best he can do, the next best thing to breathing her in and holding her close and loving her like she deserves.

Which isn't fair to Remus, because of _course _Remus loves her—that's the _point_. He loves her so much he's willing to leave her, willing to run away to protect her and Charlie is done ripping this beautiful girl in half. He's done making her choose.

If comfort is all he gets, he'll make do with nights and mornings and shared toothbrushes.

Tonks kisses him on the cheek and he hates the way his stomach drops and flips and performs acrobatics because this _beautiful little girl_ will never be his.

She glances in the mirror and changes her hair back to bubblegum pink and Charlie smiles sadly. His heart breaks again and it lies like shattered glass, throwing rainbows in the sunrise. It blinds him and he glares against it, but when the rainbows fade away, Tonks is gone and all that lingers is the bitterness on his toothbrush.

* * *


End file.
